Author Archives: daverozman1024

About daverozman1024

I am a Husband and father to two beautiful girls. I have been working with teens for almost 10 years, several years as an adventure guide for at-risk youth and for the last 8 years as a Youth Development Professional for a Non-Profit organization. Checking out and following teen trends and culture is an interest to me. And through this I hope to help people understand how they can connect and build relationships with teens in our current culture.

Why Teens Love Taylor Swift

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I found myself watching the 2013 Billboard Music Awards Sunday night. While I was watching, I noticed a recurring thought; how much I liked Taylor Swift. Now let me clarify what I mean by that statement. I was purposely viewing the award show through the lens of a teen’s eye. Trying to gain a better perspective of what is popular with teens today and why.

Now back to why I like Taylor Swift. I am always impressed with her.  How she dresses, performs and her overall attitude.  She is a very positive role model in today’s age.

More often than not my wife and I were disgusted by some of what we saw. Such as Nicki Minaj twerking on Lil Wayne.

taylor-swift-22-bbaThe night was filled with artists being self-absorbed, swearing and dancing provocatively.   Yet Taylor had a clean performance and I saw her winning award after award. (She won a total of eight awards)

It got me thinking about why is Taylor Swift so popular with teens today in a culture that is filled with a lot of other________ (insert your own adjective here). Here are my thoughts.

Teens just want to have FUN. I heard a presentation by tru where they shared that 74% of teens just want to have fun. Taylor Swift emulates this concept. She seems to always be having fun. Let me give you an example: While Jennifer Lopez was performing at the award show you saw artists in the crowd bobbing their heads with sunglasses on trying to look cool. Not Taylor, she was all out having a little dance party with her friends in the middle of the audience.

And if you saw her performance and compared it to other performers, Taylor’s was just pure fun. Not trying to be cool or make a statement. Check it out and you will see what I mean by Taylor just having fun. Did I say the word “fun”enough yet?

She is Authentic. In the McCann Worldgroups the Truth About Youth report, they identify that teens are motivated by authenticity. I personally have heard teens speak about how true this is for them. They crave authenticity. In a world where they know people are putting on fronts and creating fake accounts online, they want something real. Taylor Swift comes across as being very authentic. In all of her acceptance speeches I have seen, she always seems to still be shocked that she won and does not act like she deserved the award or was any better than anyone else up for the award.

I asked a teen about why he felt Taylor Swift was popular and he said it is because she has the ability to keep the audience’s attention with her voice. Not anything else such as dressing or dancing provocatively.

I know no one is perfect and I am sure Taylor Swift is not perfect either. But from what I see when I watch these various award shows, hear celebrities speak or read about their actions, I wish we had more Taylor Swift’s out there for teens to look up to and model their behavior after.

Building Relationships with Teens: Be Dependable

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If you have not read my previous posts in this series on Building Relationships with Teens, I encourage you to go back and read my first post to get an idea of why I started this series. (Here are links to posts two and three)

This is the fourth post in a series on how to connect with teens based on the Teen Voice 2010 study from the Search Institute and Best Buy Children’s Foundation. In this study, they shared a list of “10 tips from Teens to Adults” that outlined how to best connect with teens and what they look for in a caring adult relationship. In my third post, I focused on the tip, “Listen,” and shared examples of how I did this (or, in some cases how I failed to listen) in my work with teens. Today, I will share practical examples of how to connect with teens using Tip #4.

Tip #4: Be dependable. Do what you say you’re going to do.

In preparing for this series, I reached out to several teens I used to work with. They are all adults now, some with their own families—many are now working with youth. I shared this list and asked them if any stories came to mind about how I displayed or did not display the behaviors listed.  Matt, who I have known since he was around 13 years old, told me this story.

He said that one day he and I were sitting in the computer lab talking about religion, one of Matt’s favorite topics. I was sharing with him some of the principles I learned from the pastor at my church and the daily implications of this teaching. Matt was engaged in the conversation, asking questions and, if I remember correctly, challenging or debating me. He had a tendency to do that. But I remember that he was very interested in what we were talking about.

I mentioned that our church had created a bumper sticker with one of its key principles on it as a reminder or display. Matt casually mentioned how he would like one of those stickers to remind him of these principles, so I told him I would see if I could get one for him. When I was at church that week, I picked one up for him and gave it to him the next time I saw him.

Here is what Matt had to say about this interaction: “I remember one day we were discussing church and you were telling me about Mars Hill and the concept of “Love Wins.” I was completely amazed by the idea and asked you to get me a bumper sticker. The next time I saw you, you had my bumper sticker. Throughout my time under your leadership you were always adequately prepared and dependable. I can’t think of a time where you didn’t keep your word.”

To tell the truth I had completely forgotten about this encounter with Matt, but for some reason it has stuck with him all these years. I have talked to countless teens just this last year who have told me stories of adults asking for their feedback and then doing nothing with it. They share with me how an adult says they will provide something, like a field trip, as an incentive. But once the teens accomplish the task set before them, they never get the field trip.

Through my experiences working with teens, I quickly learned the importance of keeping my word and being dependable. I noticed this when teens would light up when I remembered a promise I made regarding a new game I bought for our teen center. I began to realize that many of the teens I was working with were promised stuff by adults all the time. By their teachers, their parents and other youth workers. But often those adults made up excuses to why they could not fulfill those promises. They began to expect that a promise or an adult’s word was not worth much, and they wouldn’t hold their hopes on it. Because of this, I made it a priority to never make a promise I could not keep and to follow through on what I say I am going to do for them.

Tips for Parents and Youth Workers:

  • Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you have any doubt that you will be able to do something be honest. Teens will value and trust you more if you are open and tell them something might not happen (and WHY when possible) than if you just fail to produce.
  • The small stuff matters. More than five years later, Matt still remembers about a sticker I brought him.
  • Be an example. It has been said many times that teens watch what you do more than they listen to what you say. I found this to be very true in my experiences working with teens. Lead by example and be dependable. If you say they need to meet you at 8 a.m. you better be there at 7:50, waiting.

What Teens are Doing on Instagram

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By far the hottest smartphone app for teens in 2012 was Instagram. It was the one trend that no matter what group of teens I was speaking with, they all mentioned it as being very popular with teens.  And with the number of teens owning smartphones up from 23% in 2011 to 37% in 2012, this app remains popular with teens well into 2013 and shows no signs of slowing down.

instagramHere is a quick synopsis of Instagram in case you are unfamiliar with this app. It is an app for your smartphone that enables you to edit pictures using various filters and effects. This allows you to make your everyday pictures look like you are a seasoned photographer. And of course Instagram allows you to easily share your pictures with friends via Facebook and Twitter. The app also allows you to “follow” others so that you always receive the latest pictures of what your friends are having for lunch. Just to put the popularity of this app in perspective, there are roughly 40 million pictures uploaded to the Instagram app each day.

When I ask teens why they like Instagram, they share various reasons related to personal self-expression. It allows them to share their life through pictures in a creative and sometimes artistic way.

With Instagram being so popular with teens, I have been paying more attention to it. I have been asking teens questions related to the app and how they use it and I have been using it myself to become more familiar with the app and it’s functions.

I think Instagram is a great app for adults and teens. It can bring out a creative side in almost anyone, which I think is a character trait lacking in today’s teens. It also allows teens to share unique experiences and opportunities they have had with their peers.

Recently at a large Teen Leadership conference I was helping manage, we created a hashtag for the conference. I was blown away when we had over 4,000 pictures tagged with the conference hashtag in just three days. The majority of the pictures showed teens participating in community service events, college tours and exploring historical sites. I thought this was very powerful. They were sharing these experiences with their peers who were not able to attend the event. When discussing this with one of the teens, he reminded me that “a picture is worth a thousand words.”

But I have noticed several trends related to Instagram that are concerning.

Age recuirement. One trend I have seen is common on many social networking sites. Users who are under the required age creating an account. The terms of Instagram state you must be 13 years old to use the services, but I have some across many accounts associated with youth under that age.

Public vs. Private. Instagram preferences, like most social media networks, are set to public but provide the option for the user to make their content private. If your Instagram account is set to private that means a user must ask to follow you before they can view your pictures. I am discovering that many teens do not make the selection to keep their account private. Because it is public, any Instagram user can view their pictures.

Creepy. Instagram has a feature that allows you to explore others content. This will generate a display showing pictures of various users that can be refreshed to show more photos. In viewing this option I have seen pictures of teens pop up in this display. What disturbs me the most is some of the pictures show teens in revealing outfits. I was showing this to my wife the other day and telling her how I have seen some of these users, who are teens, have upwards of 25K to 75K followers. What this tells me is either this teen is a celebrity that I don’t know about. Or there are a lot of Instagram users who are stumbling onto their pictures and then following them so that they continue to see more pictures of that teen in revealing outfits. Either way, it is disturbing to me that a teen of 15 or 16 are posting these types of pictures for all to see.

“Likes.” In a recent blog by Sarah Brooks, she talks about how teens are wrapped up in the number of “Likes” or “Followers” they have on sites like Instagram. For some teens, they may use this as a way to gage their popularity or self-worth. If you have not already read her post I encourage you to check it out here.

I started asking teens if they saw their peers trying to gain more “likes” and what they felt it meant. Here is what I learned.

20130429-114007.jpg“I see this all the time. I think it has turned into a type of competition and so they have the bragging rights of how many followers they have or how many likes they get on a picture.”

“I believe that it’s all an “ego” thing, also if you have more followers people think your Important in some way.”

“I have seen (the hashtag) #likeforlike so people who search it can like the pictures and have one of theirs liked too.” I checked this out in the explore feature on Instagram and found 7,207,689 pictures tagged #LikeforLike, many of them were of teens. The picture to the left is an example of what I found when I searched the hashtag #LikeforLike.

When discussing the popular hashtag #40morelikes one teen shared, “it is a way to get likes and followers. There is an app called TagforLikes that many people use to get a lot of likes on their pictures.” I checked this out and indeedinstagram and teens there were several apps that a user could download that would help you attain more “Likes” on your pictures. What it does is allow you to easily tag your picture with the most popular hashtags on Instagram, such as #food or #girl. Then when someone searches for one of those hashtags, your picture is displayed for them to view. The picture to the right is an example.

One reviewer of the app TagsforLikes mentioned gaining over 20 new likes in a matter of seconds using the app. Note these are not more likes from your friends but from random users.

If you are like me, all of this probably feels a little overwhelming. Maybe you are even thinking about taking social media privileges away from your teen. I don’t have all the answers but here are a few ideas to help guide you.

Tips for youth workers and parents:

  • Be aware. Half of the battle is knowing that these trends are out there and teens are engaging in them. My hope is that my blog is useful in provideing you with some current and relevat information regardint teens and teen trends. But you can ask teens yourself too. I am always surprised how much teens are willing to share. If you are a youth worker make sure you are asking teens about new trends, how they use new apps or what certain hashtags mean. Sarah Brooks is a great example of engaging the youth she is working with in conversation and being aware of what is going on. Parents, my hope is your teen is connected to a  youth group. If so, ask the youth worker(s) what are some of the trends you need to be aware of. And youth workers help out the parents. Host a workshop, write a monthly newsletter, create a system to text parents regularly about new trends you are seeing that you think they should be aware of.
  • Talk to your teen(s) about the importance of privacy settings on social network sites like Instagram. According to Pew Internet, only “39% of parents of teen users of social networks have helped their child set up privacy settings for a social networking site.” Youth workers here is another way you can help out. Host a social network session for your teens where you teach them about the privacy settings and why it is important that they use them properly.
  • Give them a “Like.” Not on a social media account but in real life. Every day. And often. Make sure they know they are liked, heck make sure they know they are loved and that someone cares about them. In the little things and big things. Compliment their outfit, their positive attitude, a character trait they displayed, just plan tell them they are awesome!

Building Relationships with Teens: Pay Attention to Them

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If you have not read my previous two posts on Building Relationships with Teens, I encourage you to go back and read post one to get an idea of why I started this series. And you can find post two is located here.

This is the third post in a series on how to connect with teens based on the Teen Voice 2010 study from the Search Institute and Best Buy Children’s Foundation. In this study, they shared a list of “10 tips from Teens to Adults” that outlined how to best connect with teens and what they look for in a caring adult relationship. In my second post, I focused on the tip, “Spend time talking with us,” where I shared examples of how I have done this in my work with teens. I also provided some tips for youth workers and parents. Today I will share practical examples of how I connected with teens using Tip #3.

Tip 3: LISTEN. Pay attention. Don’t multi-task or get distracted when you’re with us. Respond to messages and texts.

I shared these 10 tips with a group of teens I am currently working with and asked their opinions. Today, one of the girls commented that the whole list was right on. But she continued to say that the most important tip on the list is to listen. She said she is “always getting yelled at for being on her phone, but many of the adults around her do the same thing.”

In a culture where teens are often driven to see how many “likes” or comments they can get on social networks or how many people view their video, you would think everyone is listening to them. When I have talked with teens about this, they admit that they know social networks don’t replace real face-to-face relationships. They also know that often people are not being their true selves online.

Teens crave authenticity, and as adults, parents and youth workers, we can provide that.

mom-teen-girl-talkingBut that means we must truly listen to them.

This tip and tip one (look at us and make eye contact) have a similar message: Pay attention to me; show me that you are listening and that you care.

I can’t use the line, “Back when I was a teen director,” because it truly has not been that long. But a lot has changed. I did not own a cell phone or have a social network account. So teens were not connecting with me through digital devices, but we still had our fair share of distractions.

Rather than tell you of a time when I did listen to teens well, I want to tell you the ways I did not listen to teens well. In my role as the teen director at the local Boys & Girls Club, I had a lot of responsibilities. We often had 60–80 teens in our facility at a time, more during the winter months. This created distractions for me. Instead of focusing on the one conversation I was having with a teen or small group of teens I was constantly looking away, scanning the room to make sure the other teens were behaving or seeing who had just arrived.

I had a technique I refer to as “drive-by conversations.” I would circle the room stopping briefly at each group of teens to comment on a pool game, ask how school was that day or ask who was winning at Madden. I was making little connections but often I was not allowing for a true response. Often I was walking away as they were responding to my initial question. I was not listening to them.

Tips for Youth Workers and Parents:

  • Don’t be distracted. Do the basics: look at the teen you are talking with, turn and face him or her, have an open posture and ask follow-up questions to show you are engaged. Model the behavior you want to see in them.
  • Put your phone out of sight. They can be the biggest distraction we have around us. If it vibrates, rings or sings to you, do not immediately reach for it. Parents, create a cell phone parking lot in your home where cell phones go while you are in the house. This will limit your desire to look at it every five seconds.
  • Respond. If they email, call, text, tweet, or send a carrier pigeon or smoke signals, make sure you respond in a timely manner. And this means knowing what a timely manner is for teens.
  • Schedule follow-up conversations. If you do have to step away for a legitimate reason like a meeting or you have to use the bathroom, let them know when you will be back or schedule a time to finish your conversation. Be proactive and seek them out to follow-up and re-connect.  I worked with a staff member who was great at this. Often when she would have a task at hand, she would ask the teen to walk and talk with her as she moved about the teen center.

Building Relationships with Teens: Spend Time Talking with Them

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One of my main goals is to help adults better understand, relate to and connect with teens in order to positively impact their lives. Because of that, this is the second post in a series focusing on how to connect with teens based on the Teen Voice 2010 study from the Search Institute and Best Buy Children’s Foundation. In this study, they shared a list of “10 tips from Teens to Adults” that outlined how to best connect with teens and what they look for in a caring adult relationship. In my first post I focused on the first tip, “Look at us,” and shared examples of how I have done this in my work with teens. I also provided some tips for youth workers and parents. Today I will share practical examples of how I connected with teens using Tip #2.

Tip #2: Spend time talking with us. Ask open-ended questions. Build conversation.

I have to admit that when I first started working with youth, asking open-ended questions was very difficult for me. I was comfortable with the “How’s it going?” type questions or “What are your hobbies?” but getting deeper than that was tough for me. When I was serving as an adventure guide out in Washington, I had fellow guides and counselors that could ask just the right question that would lead to an hour-long conversation with a teen. I often sat by quietly in amazement at what seemed to come so naturally to some of the other guides.

But, like anything, practice and a few good resources helped me grow and become more comfortable asking questions of teens. What worked for me was a game called The Ungame. It is the simplest game in the world and turned out to be one of the best games to get teens talking in groups. You pass the deck around and each person picks a card. Each card in the deck has a simple question on it. Then you go around and each person answers the question. Simple right?

the-ungame-300dpiThe deck of cards is divided into two categories. Category one cards are more lighthearted questions such as “Talk about your favorite sport and why you like it” or “In what ways does TV influence your life?” Category two cards are a little more deep or serious, such as “Which of your senses do you value the most?” or “What kind of emergency scares you the most?”

I would always keep The Ungame on my desk and use it as an icebreaker with various small group meetings. Starting with the category one cards was a great way to begin to get to know each other better and form connections. I would find that these random questions would allow teens to then open up about their passions or their deepest fears. And because the questions came from a deck of cards and not me, they were more likely to answer.

I remember one time in particular when I was taking a group of teens to a leadership conference and we had a four- to six-hour van ride. After a few rounds of arguing over what music to play I mentioned that I had The Ungame in my bag. The teens, probably 8–10 in all, were very excited and started facilitating the game by themselves. They decided that since they had played the game previously as a group that they would change up our rules: for every card that was drawn, we would go around and each person would answer the question. They played the game for what felt like three hours. It was great because I barely did anything but drive and listen. It was the quickest drive with teens in my life and I felt like by the time we arrived at our destination, the teens truly knew each other and had developed a deeper appreciation of and trust for each other.

The cool thing about a game like The Ungame is that you can set it up how ever you’d like. If the group is still relatively new, start with category one cards and not allow any questions or comments. If the group has been around each other and demonstrates that they are comfortable with each other, use category two cards and allow people to ask follow-up questions to others’ responses.

Using a tool like The Ungame helped me become more comfortable asking teens questions that truly mattered. I ended up realizing that many of them were waiting for someone to ask them deeper questions and allow them to share their thoughts, feelings and struggles. I realize now that I had more anxiety over asking these questions than they had in responding to me. Now I really enjoy asking teens questions.

Tips for Youth Workers and Parents:

  • Be prepared. Some people are great at asking questions in the moment, but if you are like me this can be difficult. Spend time thinking and even writing down open-ended questions and conversations starters for the groups or teens you interact with. Now, I don’t recommend changing a conversation just to ask your question. Try to fit questions in the conversation or use them when there is a lull.
  • Listen to what they are saying and follow up. Once the conversation ends, think about a follow-up question you could ask next time you see them. This shows that you were listening and that you truly care. I sometimes dealt with over 100 teens a day and would often jot down little notes of conversations I have with certain teens to help me remember them later.
  • Have a favorite or go-to question with a purpose. I was mentoring a teen through the court system and found it hard to create conversation, especially around some of the issues he needed help and guidance with. So I began asking him “What good choices did you make this week?” each time I saw him. At first he had trouble answering and I would have to dig a little deeper. But after a year of weekly meetings he would come up to me answering the question before I even had a chance to ask it. This guided our conversation and also brought his positive choices to the forefront of our conversation and his mind instead of the negative choices that he was accustomed to talking about.

Semicolon Project 416

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I just got off a conference call with a group of teens from around the country tonight and learned about semicolon project 416. Also written #semicolonproject416 on twitter, Instagram and Tumblr. I had not heard of this previously but almost all the teens on the call had heard of it and seen teens brandishing a semicolon on their wrists today.

Here is what it means or represents:

semi colon

Looking on Instagram there are just under 220,000 photos tagged #semicolonproject416. There appear are Tumblr post blogs and posts dedicated to this. Many with responses from teens saying they just added the semicolon to their wrist.

I do not know the origins of this or if this is a once a year event. If anyone has more information please share in the comments.

This is an obvious way that teens are sharing that they have gone through some hardships and that they have struggled. The good news is they have made a positive choice not to harm themselves or end their life. But many of them may still be struggling and dealing with tough issues.

Parent and Youth Worker Tips:

  • If you see a teen with a semicolon drawn on a them, ask them about it. Ask them what it means or why they have drawn it on their skin.
  • Ask them if they want to talk.
  • Make a mental note of teens whose mood may have been different (positive or negative today). Make mental note of a teen who had a semicolon drawn on their arm.
  • I am not a counselor or a psychologist, if there is one that works at your organization or school please share this with them and discuss how you should proceed if you see a teen with a semicolon drawn on their arm.
  • I do not know much about this yet, but I do not see a need to freak out at every teen who has a semicolon drawn on them. But I do see it as a sign from that teen, maybe a little flag saying “help me” or “notice me.” As parents and youth workers when we see something like this we need to let the teens know that we care for them.
  • Be there for your teens.

Building Relationships with Teens: Make Eye Contact

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One of the main goals I have is to help adults better understand, relate to and connect with teens in order to positively impact their lives. I have seen first hand and talked to a lot of teens who have overcome great obstacles in their lives because of one caring adult. So it was very exciting when I stumbled upon the Teen Voice 2010 study from the Search Institute and Best Buy Children’s Foundation. What I found most exciting about this survey is they had a list of “10 tips from Teens to Adults” that outlined how to best connect with teens and what they looked for in a caring adult relationship.

I have said in numerous blog posts that one of the most important things you can do when working with teens is to listen to them. I am going use my own advice and begin a series of posts walking through each of these “10 tips from Teens to Adults.” In this series I will be sharing practical examples of how you can use each one to build a positive relationship with teens.

Tip One: Look at Us. Make eye contact.

This sounds simple enough. But think through the times you are talking and engaged with teens and try to remember what else you may have been doing at the time? I can remember countless times where I was around teens and I was multitasking. I would look up from my computer and say hi and how was your day? To then turn back to my computer while they answered. In that moment I was not focused one hundred percent on that teen.  I had missed out on an opportunity to have a deep connection with that them.

table_tennisOne of my favorite games to play when I worked at a local Boys & Girls Club Teen Center was ping-pong. I was a tennis pro at a local country club through college so ping-pong came very naturally. Because of this I taught myself to play ping-pong left-handed to make the games more competitive and fun for the members. Sometimes I did not even tell them I was right-handed. But back to building relationships with teens.

I used ping-pong as a way to engage in conversation, especially with teens that were not likely to just sit down and open up. While playing I continually asked my teen opponent questions. It could have been as simple as “how was your day” or as in-depth as asking about a struggle they were working to overcome. One specific method I always tried to practice if a conversation went to that deeper level was this: if I really wanted the teen to know I was listening, I would simply hold the ball between points and wait to serve until we had finished up that part of the conversation.

I knew some of these teens did not have many adults truly listening to them. I wanted to show them that there were adults who cared about them. I had one teen in particular who was a member of one of the local gangs. He would come in everyday after school and immediately challenge me in ping-pong. He had a hard exterior but after weeks and weeks of playing and using this practice of asking questions and listening to him, he began to open up to me. He never beat me in ping-pong and was pretty ticked when he found out I was not left-handed, but he kept coming back. I like to think he did not keep coming back to try to win but to talk with me.

Youth Worker and Parent tips:

  • Don’t multitask while trying to have a conversation with teens. We don’t like it when they multitask while we are trying to talk to them. So don’t do it to them.
  • If a teen asks you a question, no matter how small, turn to look at them and give them your attention.
  • If you do have to step away from a conversation, set a time to finish the conversation.

Are Teens Leaving Facebook?

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Did you see the recent Time Magazine article,”Is Facebook Losing Its Cool? Some Teens Think So.” It is another in the ongoing conversation about which Social Networks are getting more attention from teens. There is no concrete scientific study (at least not that I know of) saying that teens are fleeing Facebook like a flock of birds flying south for the winter. But if they are it should not be a surprise to us.

Why you ask? First, think about when you were a teen. Did you like hanging out with your facebookparents, siblings, uncles and grandparents or would you have rather been hanging out with your friends? That’s easy, you would have rather been with your friends. The same concept applies in the world of Social Media.

When teens first signed up for Facebook, they were doing so because their friends were on it and not their family members. Fast forward a few years and with Facebook’s growth, now their family members are on Facebook too. Some teens may choose to leave or limit their Facebook use based on this. Like the one teen stated in the Time Magazine article, “All your relatives are constantly commenting on your stuff. I appreciate the gesture and wanting to keep up with my life, but it’s kind of annoying.”

The second reason it should come as no surprise that teens may be leaving Facebook is because teens are early adopters. What I mean by this is when something new comes out, a new TV Show, a new piece of technology a new type of music. Teens are quicker than their adult counterparts to check it out. They don’t sit back and ask a bunch of question and perform a detailed analysis before they try something. Because they are early adopters, they are likely to try something new early and when everyone else begins to claim that thing is popular, teens are already moving onto the next great new thing.

This is why companies like Facebook are constantly making changes. They are trying to keep it fresh and new enough to keep teens and early adopters engaged and interested.

Third, Teens are at a stage in life where they are beginning to try to separate themselves, stand out and not blend in, figure out who they are as an individual. If the word on the street is everyone is on Facebook, then being on Facebook is not setting themselves apart from others. It is blending in when they want to stand out. This is not to say they won’t still have a Facebook account, but they will be looking for a way to stand out on Facebook or find another avenue to set themselves apart from the crowd.

Lastly there is more Social Networks available now. Five years ago there were only a handful of Social Networking options. Today it seems there is a new one in the App Store every month.

Social-Media-IconsTeens have choices, and what they have decided to do is use different social networks for different types of activities. In talking with teens I hear them say they use Facebook for connecting with family and group work for school. They love Instagram because they can share pictures about what is happening in their life and things that interest them. They like tumblr because it is like an online Diary where they can share pictures and videos that inspire them or reflect how they are feeling on a given day.

Companies are paying attention and trying to combined the best features of the different social networks into one. Case in point is Facebook’s accusation of Instagram and the development of a new Social Networks like Snapchat and Pheed. (Read more about Pheed here)

What does this mean for parents and youth workers?

  • Pay attention. Once you think you know about all the social networks your teens are on, they are probably checking out 2 more. Stay in the know by following sites like Mashable on Facebook or twitter. Or just navigate to the site and read the articles. When something new in the area of social media comes on the scene they are one of the first to report on it. If you read about a new Social Network or App, ask your teen if they have heard of it. If they have, ask them about it. Ask them to show you how it works or why they think it is cooler than other Social Network.
  • Pay Attention Continued. Periodically check out what is on the Top Charts of the app store. This will give you a basic idea of what is currently popular. And check your computers browser history to see if the new Social Network site pops up as a recent site visited. This will tell you if your teenager has visited the site.
  • If you work with teens understand what your teens use each Social Network for. This will help you decide what platform to use if trying to engage with teens via social media. Better yet, include them in the process of creating a social media outreach strategy for your group/organization. Teens love to feel like they are teaching someone older than them something.
  • If you are a parent, don’t like EVERY comment your teen makes on Facebook. And definitely do not scold them in the comments section. You can observe from a distance on social networks so they don’t feel you are watching their every move.

What Social Networks are your teens using?

Teen Culture Articles of Interest

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I have heard great leaders and innovators say that they are constantly reading. They do this to educate themselves, stay in the know about what is going on concerning topics of interest and to help them plan their next steps. I personally try to make time to read each day. Some days it is books, other days just articles of interest. This has been one of the most beneficial practices I have started in terms of helping me be more knowledgeable on a given topic (Teen Culture for example) and become forward thinking about how we need to engage teens in todays culture.

For those of you who have not yet started your own reading time or currently do not have the time, here are some articles I read recently that stand out.

How Prepared Are Your Students for College? From Kara Powell of StickyFaith.org. With a GREAT supporting Infographic from USA Today Education. A couple stand-out statistics to me were, “5 in 10 College Freshmen cannot find New York or Ohio on a Map” and “over half-a-million college freshmen drop out every year.” It is an eye opening read about how prepared our teens are for college courses today.

Why Fast, Cheap, and Easy Design Is Killing Your Nonprofit’s Brand. This article in FastCompany written by Heath Shackleford is not about teen culture. But if you have a program you are trying to grow, it has great advice for today’s Non-Profit. It asks the following question, “If you’re a nonprofit, ask yourself these questions. Do you want to fit in, or do you want to stand out? Do you want to “look pretty” or do you want to be effective?” I am guessing each of you want to stand out and be effective right? Start by checking out this article.

‘Cool’ kids in middle school bully more, UCLA psychologists report This new study looks at students in Middle school who were labeled the coolest and the most aggressive at the same time. It raises the issue that, “effective anti-bullying programs need to focus on the bystanders, who play a critical role and can either encourage or discourage bullying.” Work with middle school students? Then you need to read this article.

Here are a couple of more articles of interest:

What articles or books are you currently reading?

Straight From Teens: What’s Popular

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From time to time I dedicate a post to share what I am hearing from Teens. What they say is popular, possible new teen trends developing or just fun stuff related to teens. Here is the latest installment, enjoy.

pheedA new Social Network has come on the scene.  It is called Pheed and seems to take many of the our favorite aspects of other Social Networks (Facebook, twitter, Instagram, YouTube etc) and combines them into one. I saw several articles stating that this new Social Networking app is VERY popular with teens. Check out this one from Fast Company titled Tweeting Teens Help Propel Pheed to #1 Social App. But when I started talking to teens, I only found one who actually had heard of the app. I don’t think this has gained much popularity yet but it looks like it could have some potential.

Several Apps have popped on the scene lately that allow you to “connect” with Social Media friends that like you more than a friend. One is called “Bang with Friends,” which according to its tag line let’s you “Anonymously find friends who are down for the night.” The other is called Tinder and it let’s you identify Facebook/Twitter friends you “Like” and if they say they “Like” you as well, it will connect you. Their Tag line is “A Fun Way To Break the Ice.” Here is a good article from Johnathan McKee about Bang with Friends.  I will be honest, I have not heard teens talking about these apps. But as they are recently gaining in popularity they probably already know about them. Which means we as Youth workers and parents need to be aware of them as well.

If you have not heard or seen by now, the Harlem Shake is VERY popular. If you have no clue what I am talking about check out my recent blog post Teens are Getting their Shake on.

Popular music with teens today includes the following artists: Maroon 5, Miguel, Chris Brown, Beyoncé, Frank Ocean, Bruno Mars, Lupe Fiasco and Rihanna.  Some stand outs are Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris featuring Florence Welch and Thrift Shop by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (the Music Video has over 143 Million views on YouTube). I was going to post some links to their videos on YouTube, but after viewing a couple I decided against it based on the content in some of the videos. What I recommend is heading over to iTunes, search for the artist and then listen to the previews of their more recent and popular songs.

What Fun Apps are Teens Playing with on their Smartphones?

Do you want to know what Movies are popular with Teens? If so don’t watch the Oscars. I asked teens about the movies up for Oscars, turns out most had never heard of nor seen any of them. For better luck check out the Movies nominated for MTV Movie Awards. This tends to be a better way to gauge what teens are watching.

What is popular with your teens? Leave a comment and let me know.