Tag Archives: Youth Worker tips

Are Teens Leaving Facebook?

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Did you see the recent Time Magazine article,”Is Facebook Losing Its Cool? Some Teens Think So.” It is another in the ongoing conversation about which Social Networks are getting more attention from teens. There is no concrete scientific study (at least not that I know of) saying that teens are fleeing Facebook like a flock of birds flying south for the winter. But if they are it should not be a surprise to us.

Why you ask? First, think about when you were a teen. Did you like hanging out with your facebookparents, siblings, uncles and grandparents or would you have rather been hanging out with your friends? That’s easy, you would have rather been with your friends. The same concept applies in the world of Social Media.

When teens first signed up for Facebook, they were doing so because their friends were on it and not their family members. Fast forward a few years and with Facebook’s growth, now their family members are on Facebook too. Some teens may choose to leave or limit their Facebook use based on this. Like the one teen stated in the Time Magazine article, “All your relatives are constantly commenting on your stuff. I appreciate the gesture and wanting to keep up with my life, but it’s kind of annoying.”

The second reason it should come as no surprise that teens may be leaving Facebook is because teens are early adopters. What I mean by this is when something new comes out, a new TV Show, a new piece of technology a new type of music. Teens are quicker than their adult counterparts to check it out. They don’t sit back and ask a bunch of question and perform a detailed analysis before they try something. Because they are early adopters, they are likely to try something new early and when everyone else begins to claim that thing is popular, teens are already moving onto the next great new thing.

This is why companies like Facebook are constantly making changes. They are trying to keep it fresh and new enough to keep teens and early adopters engaged and interested.

Third, Teens are at a stage in life where they are beginning to try to separate themselves, stand out and not blend in, figure out who they are as an individual. If the word on the street is everyone is on Facebook, then being on Facebook is not setting themselves apart from others. It is blending in when they want to stand out. This is not to say they won’t still have a Facebook account, but they will be looking for a way to stand out on Facebook or find another avenue to set themselves apart from the crowd.

Lastly there is more Social Networks available now. Five years ago there were only a handful of Social Networking options. Today it seems there is a new one in the App Store every month.

Social-Media-IconsTeens have choices, and what they have decided to do is use different social networks for different types of activities. In talking with teens I hear them say they use Facebook for connecting with family and group work for school. They love Instagram because they can share pictures about what is happening in their life and things that interest them. They like tumblr because it is like an online Diary where they can share pictures and videos that inspire them or reflect how they are feeling on a given day.

Companies are paying attention and trying to combined the best features of the different social networks into one. Case in point is Facebook’s accusation of Instagram and the development of a new Social Networks like Snapchat and Pheed. (Read more about Pheed here)

What does this mean for parents and youth workers?

  • Pay attention. Once you think you know about all the social networks your teens are on, they are probably checking out 2 more. Stay in the know by following sites like Mashable on Facebook or twitter. Or just navigate to the site and read the articles. When something new in the area of social media comes on the scene they are one of the first to report on it. If you read about a new Social Network or App, ask your teen if they have heard of it. If they have, ask them about it. Ask them to show you how it works or why they think it is cooler than other Social Network.
  • Pay Attention Continued. Periodically check out what is on the Top Charts of the app store. This will give you a basic idea of what is currently popular. And check your computers browser history to see if the new Social Network site pops up as a recent site visited. This will tell you if your teenager has visited the site.
  • If you work with teens understand what your teens use each Social Network for. This will help you decide what platform to use if trying to engage with teens via social media. Better yet, include them in the process of creating a social media outreach strategy for your group/organization. Teens love to feel like they are teaching someone older than them something.
  • If you are a parent, don’t like EVERY comment your teen makes on Facebook. And definitely do not scold them in the comments section. You can observe from a distance on social networks so they don’t feel you are watching their every move.

What Social Networks are your teens using?

Teens are Getting Their Shake On!

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If you have had access to the internet or a teenager in the last two weeks, by now you have probably heard about the Harlem Shake. It is the latest viral video craze that is sweeping the internet teens are getting in on the action.

Here is the basic context. You and your friends put on the song, Harlem Shake by Baauer. For the first 15 seconds one person dances awkwardly, often times with a mask or something covering their face, and everyone else pretends they do not see the person. After 15 seconds (when the songs beat changes) you cut to everyone dancing and going crazy. I know, complex isn’t it. If you have a few minutes or hours to spare just type Harlem Shake into YouTube and you will be amused for as long as you can take it. Here is one of the more popular ones on You Tube that currently has over 22 million views.

I talked to teens across the country and found that almost all of them have been in a Harlem Shake video (or several) with their school, team, youth group, Club, family or friends.

When trends or viral videos like the Harlem Shake pop up, and they pop up almost every month these days, some will say that they lead to negative behavior. This week I heard of two cases where teens were suspended from school for their roles in creating or attempting to create a Harlem Shake video. One case involved teens lying to their teacher about what they were doing and pushing the limits on the appropriateness of the dance moves they were doing.

Overall viral videos like the Harem Shake can be a lot of fun for teens. But we have to remember that teens are still developing and sometimes may not make the best decisions. This is often the case when viral videos or trends get teens in trouble. They see a video like the Harlem Shake and think about what they could do to be more outrageous and get more views or likes on YouTube. This thought can outweigh the logical thoughts they have and cause them to push the limits.

What do I suggest when it comes to trends like the Harlem Shake? I will give you an example. A friend of mine who is a pastor made the following tweet tonight: “Who’s up for a Harlem shake video at mid-week tomorrow night? Bring props and we’ll do it.”

I love it! He is recognizing the trend and engaging with teens in making their own video. This means they will have appropriate supervision and guidance but will also have a great time. It can also bring the group closer together through a fun mutual experience.

Youth Tip: Keep your eyes and ears open for the latest trends and figure out how you can engage with your teens in the latest trend. Also, have conversations with them about how far they are willing to go to get likes and views on social media.

The Consequences of a Comment

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When I was in the 4th or 5th grade I had a teacher make a comment to me that has impacted me to this day. This sounds like the making of a real feel good story that I can tell about how a caring adult made a difference in my life. I can see it playing on a video screen at a banquet with great video cut-aways to the teacher talking to students and an amazing song playing in the background. But that is not the case with this story because the comment the teach made to me was not a positive one.

We had a substitute teacher one day and were working on a writing assignment. I remember the teacher walking around the room checking to see how we were doing. I very vividly remember her walking up behind me, looking over my shoulder at the paper I was writing and saying loud enough for the whole class to hear, “What is that Greek?” The class laughed and I felt embarrassed.

It only been in the last few years that I have remembered this incident. probably because I buried it deep in my brain. But I can trace a lot back to that one comment the teacher made. I can trace back the fact that I stopped working on my penmanship and still have poor penmanship to this day. When facilitating trainings I often ask for volunteers to write on the flip chart for me out. Not out of embarrassment but because I know the participants wont be able to read my handwriting as well. I can trace back my poor spelling and grammar skills to that moment in time. I am a horrible speller and honestly do not know the difference between a noun, verb or adjective. No I am not kidding. I have even taking courses to improve my grammar to no avail.

So what does this have to do with Teen Trends and Teen Culture, the themes of most of my blog posts? Nothing at all. Occasionally I want to share stories or practical tips to help you set your teens up for success. I often share this personal story in my trainings, usually when writing in front of the group. And the point I make is the little things matter. The little comments you say DO MATTER to the youth and teens you are talking to. So focus on the positive, not the negative, ALWAYS.

Many teens may go through their whole day without anyone saying something positive to them. They probably have heard countless jokes or have been teased by their friends more than they can count. You as the adult should not contribute to the negative or joking comments. They can often shake off a comment from a friend, but a negative comment or joke from a trusted adult, someone who they look up too. That can break them. We are in our professions as youth workers, or our roles as parents to build up our teens. To help them succeed. To build their confidence. To guide them to making smart decisions. And most importantly to help them not hurt them.

Most teens won’t let you know that the positive comments you say affect them. And they may not tell you the negative comments do either. But you can see it on their face, you see it in the decisions they make, they may tell you years later or you may never know.

I can still remember a time when I made the mistake of making a joke at the behalf of a teen. He was a 14-year-old guy who had just gotten a his hair cut my a friend and his peers were giving it to him pretty good. He was smiling and joking around with them. But then I made the comment, “Did you get in a fight with a lawnmower?” About 20 teen guys burst out laughing, but the teen with the bad haircut, I immediately saw his smile go away and a look of disappointment and embarrassment in his face. I will admit I regretted that comment as soon as I said it and I vowed never to do that to a teen again. And just so you know I pulled him aside pretty quickly to apologize.

So what can you do as parents and youth workers:

  • Don’t mock or make jokes at a teens expense.
  • Lift them up with positive comments. Look for the good in every teen and point it out.
  • Text them just to say “good job” on their most recent test or that you appreciate a positive character trait or choice them made.
  • Make sure they have other positive and caring adults in their lives who are also focused on lifting them up and not putting them down.
  • Did I mention DON”T put them down yet?

Note: keep this in mind when you read my future blog posts. You may get frustrated with poor sentence structure or run on sentences. Instead of holding it against me, remember the comment the teacher made to me and commit to only lifting up youth, not putting them dow. Or offer to proof read my posts for me (c:

Teens Don’t Value Human Interaction, Or Do They?

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“Teens are constantly texting or on social networks and don’t value human interaction anymore.”

I have heard this and similar statements numerous times in the past few weeks from adults. Many of them are angry and down-right mad when they make these statements to me.  Although there is value to their frustration, (13-17 year olds exchange 3,417 texts a month on average according to a report by Nielson), I think we need to look a little deeper and understand what is going on from a teens perspective.

When I talk to teens regarding their preferred methods of communication I am blown away by how detailed and sometimes complicated it is. It goes a little something like this:

“If I need a quick response I will call the person and text if it is something short like can I get a ride to the football game. I post on Facebook to inform and update my friends and family on whats going on and if I need to “vent” or “go on a rant” I head to twitter. Small talk with my friends is definitely a text, but if we want to have a deeper conversation then we call, Skype or talk face-to-face. If I am working on the computer, I will IM with my friends instead of text. And if I am not real close to the person I will always text them over call them. Oh and email, that is only for school and sharing documents.”

Did you get all that? What teens are saying is they use different forms of communication depending on the content and who they are communicating with. Where adults might question the redundancy of a teen needing to text, tweet and post to Facebook all with in a 2 minute time frame, teens don’t see it that way. They see it as communicating different things to different groups of people. So there seems to be some thought put into this madness.

When I was a teen I only had the options of calling someone on the phone, talking to them face-to-face or sending them a letter. I personally did not like talking on the phone and still don’t. Even to this day I get anxiety over calling to order a pizza. I wish I had other communication options while I was growing up and I can see how youth who may be more shy or timid can benefit from being able to text or IM their peers.

But back to the statements about teens not valuing human contact. This is one of the biggest myths I am seeing regarding teens right now. It simply is not true. When I was talking to teens about this topic, almost all of them said that they prefer face-to-face interaction over any other form of communication. They did not even hesitate or think twice to say it. One teen even commented that he enjoyed human interaction “because you could see the other persons emotions and expressions.” And this made him happy.

This is backed up by a recent study from Common Sense Media titled, “Social Media, Social Life: How Teens View Their Digital Lives.” They asked teens about their favorite way to communicate and found that 49% of teens favored “In Person”, followed by 33% “Texting”, 7% “Social Networks”, 4% “By Phone” and 1% “Twitter.”

This is Great News! Teens do in fact desire human interaction. In fact I dare to say they Crave human interaction.

What does this mean?

For Parents:

  • First of all, look at any form of communication coming from your teen to you as a positive thing.
  • Set up times to do things as a family. Eat dinner together, go on a hike, watch a TV show or Movie together. Set up rules during these family times so no one uses technology or is distracted.
  • Your teen might not want you to show that you care about them in front of their friends. Nothing is as embarrassing to a teen as a mom yelling, “I Love You Honey,” as they drop you off at school. But a quick text saying you appreciate them, are proud of them or can’t wait to hang out with them is a great way to use the various forms of communication to your advantage.
  • Put your own phone down, get off the computer, step away from the TV and just be around your teen. Look them in the eye and show them you are listening to them.

For Youth Workers:

  • Show you value teens by making space for face-to-face conversations with them.
  • Create opportunities for teens to be in community with each other. Create small clubs and groups around common interests.
  • Make your time with them so much fun that they will not want to stop every five seconds to update their status on Facebook. Teens want to be in the here and now.

71% of Teens Hide their Online Behavior from their Parents

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As long as there have been teenagers, there have been teens hiding stuff from their parents. They try to hide their behavior, their report card, something illegal they should not have etc. In today’s technology age teens are also hiding what they are doing online.  McAfee, the world’s largest dedicated security technology company, recently released findings from the company’s 2012 Teen Internet Behavior study showing what teens are hiding and how they are doing it.

The study found that over half of teens (61%) feel confident that they know how to hide what they do online from parents and 71% (Up from 45% in 2010) of teens have actually done something to hide their online behavior.” How are teens hiding their online behavior? Here are the top ten ways teens hide their online behavior as identified by the study.

  1. Clearing the browser history (53%)
  2. Close/minimize browser when parent walked in (46%)
  3. Hide or delete IMs or videos (34%)
  4. Lie or omit details about online activities (23%)
  5. Use a computer your parents don’t check (23%)
  6. Use an internet-enabled mobile device (21%)
  7. Use privacy settings to make certain content viewable only by friends (20%)
  8. Use private browsing modes (20%)
  9. Create a private email address unknown to parents (15%)
  10. Create duplicate/fake social network profiles (9%)

Youth Worker and Parent Tips: If you work with teens or have teens in your home, here are a few practical tips to help you navigate your teens internet behavior. (Note: some of these tips were taken directly from McAffee’s report)

  •  Have “frequent one-to-one conversations with teens to get through to them about the choices they’re making online and the risks and consequences of their choices.”

  • “Be diligent about setting parental controls, which includes keeping a watchful eye to know if/when teens discover ways around them, as many already have.”

  • “Be upfront with teens about monitors and controls implemented on their internet devices, as half of teens say they would think twice about their online activities if they knew parents were watching.”

  • Check the history on your computer. You can see past pages that have been visited, if you do not recognize a site, check it out and become in the know. If you notice that there is not a lot of history, this alerts you that someone is deleting the history after their use and maybe trying to hide something.

  • Place all computers in an open space where the screen is visible from a distance and keep a watchful eye when teens are using the computer. Parents, allowing a computer in your teens bedroom is not a good idea.  Same with allowing them to take their cell phone into their room at night. This allows unsupervised use and creates temptation for teens.

  • Stay in the know. Follow news/media/blog posts on internet behavior and what you need to be aware of.  A couple good sites/resources are Mashable.com or the MSNBC Science and Technology section (sign up for the e-newslettter). On twitter? Then here are some great follows that will keep you in the know @Mashable @SueScheff and @CommonSenseNews just to name a few. Fact is there are many great resources available today, it may take a little bit of work but it is better than throwing your hands up and giving up.

The McAffee study has a lot more interesting findings than just what I covered in this post. Such as what are teens actually accessing and hiding, a look at what’s at stake, the disconnect between what teens are doing and what parents are aware of and much more. I encourage you to check out the full study located here.

Teens and How they View Social Media

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A majority of the time when I am speaking to adults about social media and teens they  have very negative views. Usually based on news stories they have seen in the media.  Yes teen use social media, we all know that.  But it is not as negative or all encompassing as many adults may perceive. A new report from Common Sense Media titled ”Social Media, Social Life: How Teens View Their Digital Lives” sheds light on how teens view social media, and there are some very positive findings. And to make it even better they created a nice Infographic for those who don’t want to sift through all the findings. (Common Sense Media is an organization providing families trustworthy information to thrive in a world of media and technology)

Here is the great Infographic, below I will provide a few helpful youth worker tips bases on findings of this study.

Youth Worker and Parent Tips:

  • The report clearly shows that in person is their favorite way to communicate (followed by texting). Don’t get caught up in trying to publicize or reach teens for your program via social media. Meet them face to face. Take them out for a meal, hang out where teens are, engage them. Use social media and texting as a way to communicate and supplement word of mouth communication not take over for it.
  • Just over half of teens feel social media can help their relationships with family and friends. I find this to be true when I speak with teens. They feel they can keep in touch and see what is going on in each others daily lives even if they live far away. Especially if it is not a friend or family member they are able to connect with regularly.  As a parent, connect with other family members on social media sites and encourage your family to connect with your kids. This can allow your teens to feel more connected to their extended family making family get-togethers less awkward.
  • There is a large group of teens (and adults if we are honest with ourselves) who feel addicted to social media and wish they could disconnect. Create opportunities for teens to disconnect. Don’t be forceful and make this something you do everyday for long periods of time. But maybe if you are going on a field trip, having a lock-in or going on a family outing you ask everyone (adults too) to try to refrain from using technology. Doing this periodically can help teach teens how to step away from technology and be more engaged in the moment.

Cinnamon, Not Just a Spice in Apple Pie.

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Updated April 23rd, 2013: It seems the Cinnamon Challenge is back in the news after an article was published online in Pediatrics journal.  The report said “at least 30 teens nationwide needed medical attention after taking the “challenge” last year.” See the following video from the Today Show for more information and read my blog post written on March 28th, 2012 for my thoughts on this challenge.

When I was in college I remember the “Gallon Challenge” being popular. It is when someone tries to drink a gallon of milk within one hour. Ultimately most people ended up throwing up.  I first heard of the Cinnamon Challenge over a year ago and I associated it as another type of challenge that people were attempting for fun to see “if” they could accomplish it. In fact most of the stories I personally have heard regarding the Cinnamon Challenge has been adults attempting it, not teen.

Like many other teen trends, the media has gotten a hold of this one and is labeling it dangerous. I feel adults working with teens need to be aware of and share the dangerous of the cinnamon challenge with their teens. But I do not feel that this is a scary trend that we need to be overly alarmed over. I actually had no intention of even making a blog post regarding in. But I saw a segment on the Today Show this weekend that I felt made some great points that related to more than just the Cinnamon Challenge.

TODAY: Cinnamon Challenge Raises Fears

Steve Adubato, Ph.D, made several great points related to why teens would even engage in such a challenge. He made the point that teens feel they are superstars waiting to happen and sites like YouTube allow them to have their own reality show of sorts.  Teens feel that they are just one video clip away from becoming a celebrity.  If they can do the challenge better than others or be more outrageous than others they will get more views and in a sense become a viral video star.  I cannot agree more.

One other thought I had while watching this was around the notion that teens are more likely to engage in risky or thrill seeking behavior than adults. I tend to agree with this especially when I look back at my teenage and college years, I can remember taking some crazy risks.  I feel that is a part of why the Cinnamon Challenge has taken off with teens.  It is risky but seems safe enough, therefore more teens are willing to give it a try. Unlike other activities, such as doing drugs or racing cars, the apparent risk is very low.

Tips for Youth Workers:

  • Talk to teens about these types of challenges. Ask them if they would be willing to do it and why. It is a great opportunity to see into how they think and weigh risks.
  •   A Great question/conversation starter off of this idea would be “what is the most risky thing they would be willing to do to become famous?”
  • Ask them what they think of reality TV stars?  What are the positive and negative characteristics of them?

Tips for Parents:

  • Talk to your teens about videos they see on YouTube and ask them if they have or would be willing to try some of the activities. And of course ask why or why not?
  • Don’t go and hide the Cinnamon.
  • Share with them the dangers of the cinnamon challenge.